OUR LIVES ARE MADE IN THESE SMALL HOURS, THESE LITTLE WONDERS, THESE TWISTS & TURNS OF FATE.




Friday, January 11, 2013

Cinco's Corazon (heart)

I thought I would give a little update on Cinco since some have asked about the babe!

Cody. 
I LOVE THIS MAN. 
He is such an amazing and ever present father.  This is our fifth child and he has NEVER missed an appointment. Not one. If you have ever had babies, there are many appointments and some that take a total of two seconds...ya know, the ones where he measures and tells ya you are still pregnant and to come back next week.  Not a one was missed.  Granted some of them were a HUGE blur because half the time he is wrangling already birthed children, but never the less, he is always there.  And it means the world to me. 

But one day, he wasn't there, and as luck would have it, I would want nothing more.

On December 28th, I had an appt at the Drs office. It was gonna be a quick check, 31 weeks and I'd be on my merry way.  My appointment was at 8:40 so instead of waking all the kiddos (Christmas break), we decided that I would just go by myself.  My mom has been gracious enough to come over on her Friday mornings off and watch the babies when I do have appointments, but her and my dad were visiting my brother in Spain on this particular day.  Anyway, I go to the appointment and get weighed, which I was super excited about because I had actually lost an ounce! Big news when you have gained as much as I have:/  Then we go to hear that one little thing you never get tired of hearing...the beat of your baby's heart.

But today's beat was different and when I heard that....my heart stopped beating too.

The nurse went and got Dr. K and came back.  He listened and said "why don't you go check in at Wesley, and we will do a sono and start monitoring you?  Hopefully we won't have a baby today but I hope you didn't have any plans this weekend."-- I am sure the look on my face said it all, which was good because I was speechless.  All I wanted was Cody there and for this to all be a bad joke.  But it wasn't.  Dr. K said it was probably fine, but he wanted to double check.  I told him that we had planned to deliver at St. Joe but that I would go wherever he wanted.  He decided to send me upstairs at his practice and run some tests there instead because although it would still be costly, not nearly as expensive as checking into the hospital.  We decided if I needed to go after the initial tests, we would.  So he sent up to the sonographer and as I waited, I decided to call Cody, who last time I saw was snoozing under the covers at home.  I called....no answer.  I then called and text about 20 times...nothing.  So then I called the neighbor boy.  Nate answered the phone and I'm sure he thought I was crazy, but in a very tear filled voice, I said "Nate it is Jeny down the street.  I need to get ahold of Cody.  Will you please go down to the house and knock until he answers and tell him to call me?  Are you allowed to leave the house?"  Nate said "yea, I can go, no problem."  About 5 minutes later, I got a call from Cody.  I informed him what was going on and you could tell he felt terrible for not being there.  There was so much racing through both of our heads that neither one really knew what to say, but yet, we didn't want to get off the phone.  The sonographer called me back.  I think she could tell something wasn't right because I was 1.crying and 2.shaking.  She was incredibly sweet and sat there and rubbed my arm and explained everything at a slower level and in "layman" terms.  She did the sono, then called the doctor.  He wanted an echo of the heart done too and some more monitoring so she did all that.  A few hours later, I was back in the doctors office, waiting and praying.  He came in and said that structurally the heart looked good, but that the beat was still irregular.  I was free to go home but to rest and keep an eye out on any sudden changes.  He said that they would have the fetal heart doctor look at everything and we would go from there.  So I left and went home.  

I had a small meltdown when I got there.  It was a culmination of a lot of things. 
1. walking into the house and all four kiddos playing on the floor together.  It was kind of a surreal moment to think, what if Cinco isn't ok? What if he/she will never play on the floor with them?  
2. My parents were out of the country.  They always watch the kids when we have a baby.  If I am going to be up having a baby, I take great comfort in knowing that Uella and papa are holding down the fort.  Not to mention, who wants to have a baby when their parents are gone?  
3. All of Cody's family was going to Nashville to celebrate his mom's birthday.  I wasn't for sure on the day they were leaving (either the 28th/29th), but one of the reasons we were not going was because we did not have someone to watch the kiddos.  So in my head, I was thinking, I can't have a baby, who will watch the kids? If I had someone to watch the kids, I'd be in Nashville! Cody didn't want to have a baby with all of his family gone either.  (Luckily I was able to get ahold of two close friends who were more than willing to help out! My mom called my aunts from Spain and they were texting too and offering to get kids or go to the hospital if that was where I ended up.) 
4. I wasn't ready for any of that. I did not expect to hear him say those words, so just being caught off guard was like, "wow"!  And  I'm not ready to have another baby as odd as that sounds.  Yes we have four kids, but that doesn't automatically make you ready to go from a family of 6 to a family of 7 at any time.  I still had at least 6 more weeks to go!!  
And ultimately I knew that should Cinco come, we would not be leaving with him/her anytime soon, and that broke my heart.  Just being at the hospital with Sawyer overnight was hard enough with being away from the kids.  To do that all the time, would be tough.  But we would definitely not be one of those parents that goes home often, leaving their baby there.  I may have to sleep in a waiting room chair, but cody or I would not be but a hop away.  

So Cody held me and I cried and he was the voice of reason, like always.  We knew there was nothing we could do but pray, which also, was the only thing we knew would comfort us.  So we did that.  On that following Monday, the doctors office called and said the fetal heart doctor looked at the tests and wanted me to have weekly sonograms for the duration of the pregnancy.  He also ordered Cinco have another ECHO of the heart and an EKG at delivery.  With each sono, we would decide if we need to increase them to twice weekly or not.  The last two weeks since then at our sonos, the heart beat is still not regular, but luckily, all the valves and chambers seem to still be working.  As of today, 1/11/13, baby's head is down and I am dilated between 1-2.  I could stay like that for awhile though so I am not getting too excited, plus we would still like to keep the bun in the oven.  I am thankful we have made it to 33 weeks!

As for what the diagnosis is, we don't know.  Doctor said it could be a slew of things or nothing.  He said sometimes, they have a way of working themselves out before delivery.  Sometimes they are heart murmurs, sometimes they are bigger issues.  It is hard to say until delivery because some of it plays off of when we actually deliver.  We are thankful that we live in a day and age where technology catches things like this and we are able to monitor and be prepared for anything.  We know there are people in the world, even unborn babies, that have bigger issues, so we are trying to keep it in perspective.  Although scary, it could be much worse.  We are thankful and hopeful. 

As a family, because we have discussed it, we think Cinco is just soooo excited to become a part of our family that we make his/her heart skip a beat...or a few...and then pause and go really fast...then jump and then pause again..and then start the whole process over.  

It still breaks my heart to hear it.  Cody finally heard it today and it broke his heart too. To know what it is supposed to sound like and what it does sound like, and the difference between the two. We are praying for the best and know that everything is in God's hands, which is the best place to be.  Thanks to all those that have prayed, are praying, or will pray! We are so blessed to have so many caring people in our lives.  


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The Adventures of Holas~ Part Tres

Here is the third installment of  The Adventures of Holas, our Advent Elf.  As all things that go so well in my head, execution is ANOTHER thing.  Our sweet Sawyer had to have surgery on December 17th, to have his tonsils and adenoids removed and his ear tubes replaced.  Because he is younger, just turned 3, Dr. said it would be an overnight stay, possibly more.  With that in mind, Holas was in our thoughts, but not at the forefront of our concerns.  

Also, if you recall, during their last "mission" there was some arguing so Holas had to stay away.  When the kiddos awoke on the morning of the 17th, he was back with a note that read:
"I am soooo happy to be back home with you guys! Thanks for apologizing to each other and to your parents and for forgiving one another.  There is plenty of God's love that we do not need to fight over it! Keep up being kind."

MISSION #11
 "These are some magic beans.  Plant them in this pan before you go to school and see what happens. "
My mom was with the kiddos when they woke up because we had to check in at the hospital at 5:30 am.  She said they thought the beans were really cool, but their main concern was little brother.  
After she picked them up from school, they ran home to get a "get well " present for Sawyer.  When they went inside, they saw that their magic beans had turned into cookies!! With the cookies, was a new note that read "I miss Sawyer too.  Please take these special cookies up to the hospital for all the nurses that are taking care of our little brother."

They brought the cookies up to the hospital and apparently had a few on the way, because the pan WAS full at one point:) They also brought Holas up to see Sawyer, but Sawyer was not the happiest to see Holas...

The nurses LOVED the cookies, well the ones that got them.  One of the nurses even recognized our little elf and told the kids all about how her kiddos had an elf when they were little...40 some years ago!!! 

We also finished our novena for Sawyer on this day.  There is so much comfort in Christ, we are blessed to know of His love. 
 Here are a few pics of Sawyer too.  The top left is after the surgery, then he was slowly getting better (first smile in 36 hours!)...then we were trying anything and everything to get him to drink by himself so he didn't need the IV ( 7pm night #2), then we got the ok to be dismissed and he was out of there!!!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

MISSION #12
"Hanging around is not always fun.  Say a special prayer for the souls in Purgatory that are "hanging around" hoping to get into Heaven soon!"
I stayed at the hospital with Sawyer overnight, and Cody came home to take care of the other three kiddos and let my mom finally go home.  I told him to hang Holas from something....he chose the light.  
I informed him that Holas had already hung from the light but it was too late...The kiddos had found him and he said they seemed fine with the fact that Holas had chose the light again.  
Before they went to school, they all three prayed for the souls in purgatory!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

MISSION #13
 "YOU HAVE THE NICEST NEIGHBORS! I went for a walk and got lost and ended up on Patsy! I got to hang out with your neighbors and had fun! Make something nice for all your neighbors.!"

A HUGE thanks to my amazing neighbor Dawn for helping with Holas! They were such good sports about hosting Holas and the kiddos thought it was hilarious that Holas got lost.  The top picture is of Patsy and Holas.  Dawn sent me a text in the morning asking the kids if they recognized this elf that ended up at their house?! Then she sent the picture of Holas sleeping with Ben.  What I love even more than the gracious heart Dawn has, is the fact that above Ben's bed (in the corner of the picture) is a picture of our Diocesean seminarians, such a great family!
 Here are the kiddos making neighbor treats and getting ready to deliver them. Holas helped deliver them too:)
 Here are a FEW of the treats we also received from our wonderful neighbors! Some had already been enjoyed when I took this picture:)
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

MISSION #14
 "Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men. ~ Say a Rosary for all the seminarians, priests, and retired priests."
Holas was just fishing for goldfish, but when Jesus was on earth, He fished for great men to continue his work.  Originally it was my intention to make some goodies up and go visit the retired priests.  But at this point in the week, I was spent and decided the treats would have to wait.  Either way, the kids and I talk about vocations a lot and Cohen talks about being a priest, although I know he has YEARS to change his mind.  I love that they think highly of any religious life and see it as an honor.  It was kind of ironic because on the day of this mission, December 20th, at school they were visited by one of their "adopted" seminarians.  I had no idea Issac was going to visit them at school when the mission was chose, but Miayla was so excited to tell me how cool it was to pray for him in the morning and see him at school later that day! There are many things I love about them going to a Catholic school, one of them being the presence of visitors like seminarians and priests.  It warms my heart to have them have these positive influences interact with them. 
We prayed the rosary later that night for all religious life.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

MISSION #15
"It's ok, I'm a doctor.....JUST KIDDING! But lucky for you, you do have an amazing doctor and he has an amazing team! Please take a special treat up to Dr. Sanchez and thank him for all he does!"

Every year we take treats up to Dr.Sanchez's office and every year he is soooooo thankful.  He always takes pictures of the kids with said goodies and is very humble about his skill.  We adore all of his nurses as well and are so grateful that when we get sick, those are the arms that help heal us.  And since Sawyer was feeling better, he helped in the making of the treats!!

However, because like many things, it played out much better in my head:) The morning we were taking the treats, we were waiting for Kaia to wake up.  She rarely gets up before 9:30 am (yes she sleeps from 8pm-9:30am every night), but I noticed it was getting later and later.  Since I also go by the rule you never wake a sleeping baby, I let her sleep....but then it got a little too late (she had been asleep for 15 hrs straight)  and I freaked out.  When I went in to wake her, you could tell she was sick immediately.  I took her temp and it was 103.2 :(  I called the doctor ASAP and two things happened, 1. They said they were booked for the day and I would have to take her to immediate care and 2. Dr. Sanchez had taken the day off :)
So with this information, I decided that we shouldn't spread Christmas cheer since he was gone and she was sick.  I loaded her up and went to immediate care where we waited for a few hours and found out she had a double ear infection.  We went ahead and sent our Christmas thank yous and decided we would make treats again for them soon. 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED...SORT OF:)

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Adventures of Holas~ Part Dos

I went to post the third part of Holas' adventures and realized that I never actually published this one:( One day in this life I hope to catch up....today is probably not going to be that day and tomorrow is not looking too hot either :) 


The Ayres Family is still trucking through this Advent Season and trying to do some good out there.  There have been lots of opportunities for lessons, humility, and forgiveness.  Remember our elf is different in that we have "missions" to do daily.  Here are a few more of our missions:

MISSION #6
"It is the Feast of our Lady of Guadalupe 12/12/12!! Have a great day learning all about this special occasion and have a special Mexican feast tonight! Don't forget to continue your novena for Sawyer."
Our family is blessed with going to a Catholic school where their faith can be embedded in them even more. The school and church had set up a few special activities for the kiddos that went perfectly with our mission of learning all about the special feast day.  They met in the gym before Mass and saw a reenactment of the story of Juan Diego, then they processed over to Mass singing a traditional hymn and presented Mary with flowers.  Unfortunately Kaia did not get the memo that it was early Mass and was a bit of a stinker and we missed the whole thing:( However, we did make it over to the school after Mass for the rest of the celebration.  The Matachine dancers performed and then they had prepared a native cider for the kiddos to try.  
Sawyer wasn't for sure how he felt about the drums and the wolves....

After school. I took the kiddos down to Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church and we watched some more dancing.  They really liked it.  I have a special place in my heart for Our Lady of Perpetual Help here, it is the church where my mother grew up and it reminds me of her family.  The front pew on the left is dedicated to my beloved Grandma Toni, who I never had the privilege of meeting but who I feel I have come to know through memories.  When we got home, Holas was waiting in a bowl of chips for the rest of the fiesta.  While I prepared dinner, Cohen and Miayla watched a video about the miracle of Our Lady.  We had tamales, Mexican egg rolls, and churros as part of our feast.  By the end of the night, Sawyer had more than warmed up to the drums and became our own little drummer boy!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

MISSION #7
 December 13th is the Feast of St. Lucia! St. Lucy is the patron saint of those with visual impairments and her name means light.  Jesus is the Light of the World. Say a special prayer for all those with visual impairments and have a fun family activity tonight. Novena.

There are a lot of fun things you could do for the Feast of St. Lucia and next year I plan to do more.  This year we kept it pretty simple and just learned about her. 
 The fun family activity was going to Illuminations.  Through out our walk, we talked about Christ's light and the light of everlasting life. I don't think they really got any of this part, but they smiled and nodded anyway :)
 Sawyer absolutely LOVED Illuminations and it was nice to see him so happy knowing in a few days he wouldn't be so happy.
Holas enjoyed it too:)
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

MISSION #8
BABIES, BABIES, WE LOVE BABIES!! 
The miracle of life is such an amazing gift and must be cherished.  Please make a donation to A Better Choice to help moms who are making the BEST CHOICE-LIFE.  Say a special prayer for all the unborn babies in the world.  Continue your Novena.  

We try to make a few donations through out the year to A Better Choice and the Gerard House. I love that after they read their mission, Cohen knew exactly the place Holas was talking about.

We took some baby clothes, bath tub, diapers, and some other baby items.  
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

MISSION #9

HOLAS was hiding inside the Krispy Kreme box! 
"Donut-cha just LOVE cookie day?! We are so blessed to be part of such an awesome family! Enjoy today with everyone and say a special prayer to the Holy Family on your way to Cookie Day"

Right before Christmas, every year, for the last 21 years, my mom, her three sisters, and all of their kids and now their kids' kids get together and make a big assortment of cookies.  We look forward to it every year and it is such a special day.  Overwhelming, a tad...trying to help 4 kiddos frost sugar cookies can be a bit chaotic, but the memories are definitely worth it!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

MISSION #10
Well.....there was some misfortune on Mission #9 day.  The kiddos kind of became crazy about who the first one was to find Holas.  Miayla said she was first because she spotted the donut box.  Cohen said he was the one that actually opened the donut box and found Holas...and they argued.  Big time argue and we were NOT happy about it.  So Sunday morning, when they awoke, they found a note that read:

"It is with a sad heart that after I reported back to St. Nick last night, he said I could not return home until your behavior changes.  No one was happy with the arguing yesterday and MY mission is to help draw your hearts closer to Christ this Advent, not make you become mean to each other.  I hope you will apologize to each other and practice forgiveness.  Keep trying and hopefully I can come home soon.  I miss you sooooo much!
~Holas"

They were pretty shocked to see this.  Cohen called me out on it and said that I talked Holas into writing the note because on Saturday I had said "I wouldn't be surprised if Holas did not come back after that little episode." :) Either way, They got the memo.  Behavior on Sunday was much better and they both apologized to each other and forgave each other.  I am glad that we had the opportunity to have this little lesson.  I felt that they had a "mission" that was more relatable than others.  Yes, the good works of making donations should be practiced frequently, but humility and forgiveness are everyday occurrences that I feel reaches them at a different level. The fact that others "noticed" their nasty behavior and it was not okay, made them rethink their actions.  We have been working on "responsibility for our choices" a lot and this unintentionally tied in quite well.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!