Amor



Seven years ago today, Cody and I vowed in front of God, family, and friends to love each other all the days of our lives.  For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.  To love each other, honor each other and never seeking anyone else.  It was the happiest day of my life.  Some people ask why we didn't have a destination wedding.  The answer was quite simple, it wasn't us.  In the Catholic Church, you have to be married in front of an alter, seeing as to how our faith is at the center of our lives, it made absolute sense to pledge our lives to each other in front of where God pledged his life to us, for us.  Having been blessed with Father Matt placing his hands on us, through the installation of hands, knowing God truly blessed our marriage was a moment that still brings peace.  We weren't worried about not getting married outdoors or with sand in our toes, the only thing we were concerned about was God's blessing.  Nothing against that, it just was not US, what we needed at the foundation of our marriage.

  During our wedding, we had songs that spoke of love and the blessings of hands, which spoke of all that our hands would encounter in our marriage.  We celebrated in readings, the Eucharist, and our final blessing.  During our wedding though, we also prayed at the feet of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  We prayed that like her, we would be able to answer God's will unwavering.  That we would say "yes" without fail.  We knew that would involve sacrifice, suffering, love, and grace.  We knew that no road would be easy, but that God would be with us every step of the way.  We prayed that like Mary, we would be amazing parents, that our children would know of their Creator and His ultimate sacrifice. 

But you see, it is not easy.  It is hard.  Every. Day. People often think we have a little picturesque life over here, but we don't.  There are struggles, pain, sacrifice and suffering. Every. Day. But you see, there is also the knowing that to have eternal life, which is why we are all here, we must die unto ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Him.  Every. Day.

 

I have reminded myself of this every day for a very long time.  Very ironic that Fr. Lanzrath was visiting our parish yesterday and reminded me of it too.  Every time I get thrown up on, I am dying unto myself.  Everytime, I throw up because of "Cinco" (which is STILL everyday), I am dying unto myself.  Countless diaper changes, when we choose Disney channel over football, or laundry over game nights, we are dying unto ourselves.  Groceries over shoes, dance lessons, over concert tickets, dying unto ourselves.  Cody having to work late to pay bills, he is dying unto himself.  Even when we argue, there is a dying unto ourselves that we are reminded, out is not an option.  Working through it, is an option.  Praying on it, is an option, sacrifice and love are options.  Taking up whatever cross the other has given us, is an option.  It is hard. Every. Day. And tonight, on our anniversary, I took Miayla to dance, Cody took Cohen to scouts.  There was no fancy dinner, no romantic strolls, no cute outfits.  As I sit here and type, I am in a tank top, shorts, slippers and my hair is in a messy ponytail.  Kaia is ramming my chair with a truck and Miayla is icing her eye bc she thinks it is going to fall out......no joke.  Cody is with Sawyer, who has a bandaid on his forehead (don't ask),  enough said.  So tonight, just like every day, we are dying unto ourselves.  The sacrifices we make,  the crosses we take up, whether theyare small ones of or the big ones.  We are here to get to THERE. 

So as I reflect on Cody J and seven years as his bride, I am so incredibly thankful God chose him to my partner in this life, to be the one I take my crosses up with.  To be the one I die unto myself with, and for. I LOVE my kids.  Don't get me wrong, they are my world. I would go to the depths of this world for them. Die for them, give anything so they know nothing but happiness. But at the end of the day, they will grow. They will move on, they will find someone that God has prepared for them. When I am not with them, I miss them yes. But with Cody, God created him for me, and I for him.  When I am not with Cody, I have a WANT for him.  I have a NEED for him.  A DESIRE to be with him.  Just simply be together.  To be ONE, which is how we became, seven years ago today.